Of Glass

Dear Exboyfriend,

I have nothing to say to you. I hope you suffer as much as you made me suffer. I wish I didn’t have to see the scars you left me every day. I wish I could forget everything about our relationship, and I wish I could erase all the damage you did. But I can’t. I can only try to be happy, despite you. And I am happy. From the moment we broke up, such a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Everything seemed brighter and life had a point again. I’m so much better off without you, and I’m finally me again. I lost myself when I was with you, and I hated who I had become. A sad, insecure, overly obedient, terrified little girl. Now I’m a happy, confident, independent and brave young woman. And I can’t wait for life to start. 

Go to hell.

Dear future me,

Get off reddit and study. You probably have a ton of essays to write. Also, don’t forget to take Lola for lots of walks. Work hard in school, even if you feel like procrastinating or like its pointless - it’s not. And most of all, make sure you’re happy. I know it’s hard, but it’s important. Stop spending all your time trying to take care of everyone else and making everyone else happy. You need to take care of yourself, even if it means taking an hour out of your week to have a bubble bath and eat chocolate covered strawberries. Don’t forget to love yourself, because sometimes you forget to. 

Ps - try to remember to moisturize in the winter, your nose always gets ridiculously dry.

Okay, like three people asked this one so I guess I’ll answer it first.

Dear Dad,

Wow. I miss you so much. It’s been just over three years now, and sometimes it feels like its been a day since I’ve seen you. At other times it feels like its been a million years. I wish you could see me now, daddy. Things are so much better. I’m happier, I’m not depressed, and things are looking up for me. I’ve accomplished so much since you’ve been gone, I just wish you were here to tell me you’re proud of me. I got into the University of Toronto last week, and I’m so excited to go. I remember when Jess got in to Queens, you were so proud of her and you went around telling everyone. I wish I got to have that. There’s so many things I wish you could be here for. I wish you could have seen me graduated, and go off to University, and get married, and have kids. You would have been an awesome grandfather. I miss you every day, but it’s starting to hurt less. Nathan (my boyfriend) is a huge help with that, and you would have loved him. You’re both 12 year old boys at heart. I wish you could have met him dad, because I think he might be the one. But anyway, I don’t know what to say because theres just too much I want to say. In short, I love you and miss you. And I forgive you. I forgive you for everything you put us through and I wish you knew that. I wish I could let you know that despite everything, despite “angry man”, I still love you. If I could have one more day, or hour or even one more minute with you I’d do anything. Just so I could tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you. And how sometimes, no matter how old she gets, a little girl just needs her daddy more than anyone else. There’s always going to be an empty space in my heart, but I’m trying to fill it with good memories. I love you forever and a day daddy.